Legolas Fangirl Chase
by Toutebelle
Summary: Legolas was riding along the woods and one night he found a horde of crazy, obsessed fangirls chasing him.


_**DISCLAIMER: **I do not own Legolas. He is property of J. R. R. Tolkien. However, I do own the fangirls._

_This fanfic is rated T for weird fangirl crap. It is not for those under the age of 13._

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**THE ESTATE OF NIBIRU-MUL PRESENTS**

**LEGOLAS FANGIRL CHASE**

One night, Legolas was riding his horse through Mirkwood. He was minding his own business, when suddenly, he heard the sound of squealing.

"What could that be?" Legolas asked himself. "Probably just a wild boar...wait a minute. It doesn't sound like any wild boar I've seen."

Legolas rode further along the wooded path, when suddenly, a blonde girl sprang out. She was wearing a pink T-shirt with Legolas' face on it, blue capris, and Nike shoes. This all seems quite odd for Middle-earth, but this girl was a Legolas fangirl, and fangirls warp the dimensions.

"Legolas!" said the girl. "I'm Laura, your biggest fan. I'm here to give you a big, sloppy kiss!"

"WHAT?" said Legolas.

"Leggy," said Laura, "you're so hawt. I think you're so kawaii. Come on, give me a kiss!"

Laura ran up to Legolas and gave him a kiss on the boot. Legolas screamed and told his horse to start moving. He rode off into the woods.

"Girls!" said Laura. She whistled, and a whole swarm of no fewer than 20 fangirls came out.

"Leggy went that way," said Laura. "Let's follow him!"

"YAY! LEGOLAS!" said the fangirls.

The fangirls started running in Legolas' direction.

Legolas rode into the woods. After a while, he heard the sound of girls squealing. The fangirls were gaining on him! Why they could run so fast is unknown - maybe if you're a lovesick fangirl, wouldn't you chase your heart's desire like that?

"Hurry, they're getting closer!" Legolas told his horse.

Legolas turned to the right, and then the fangirls ran forward, bypassing the right turn. But then their brains got the better of them and they took the path that Legolas took.

Legolas then heard more squeals.

_LEGOLAS!_

_WE LOVE YOU, LEGGY!_

_WE WANT TO MAKE OUT WITH YOU!_

_I WANT TO LICK YOUR FACE!_

Legolas saw that the fangirls were trying to use lassos to catch his horse. They were desperate to have "Leggy" by their side. When Legolas reached a stream, he told his horse to jump over it. The horse leaped over the stream. The fangirls lost him.

"Phew!" said Legolas. "I'm safe now."

The fangirls tried to think of a way to get to Legolas.

"How do we get our baby back?" asked Laura.

"We go around the river," said one girl.

"We climb trees," said another girl.

"We swing from the vines," said a third girl.

"I like all three tactics," said Laura.

An hour later, Legolas was resting by a large tree. He was tired from running away from the girls.

"What are those crazy girls thinking?" he asked himself. "Can't they see these woods are dangerous? And they're creepy..."

But then, a fangirl came out of the bushes.

"There he is!" said the girl. "Get him!"

The fangirls squealed in delight. Legolas quickly got on his horse and rode off. And surely enough, the fangirls followed him.

LEGOLAS! YOU'RE SO HOT!

WE LOVE YOU, LEGGY!

COME AND PLAY WITH US, LEGGY!

YOU'RE COMING WITH US!

WE HAVE YAOI!

Legolas rode away from the fangirls, but then the fangirls resorted to swinging from the vines while howling like Tarzan.

"OH NO!" said Legolas.

The girls tried jumping at Legolas, but it didn't work. However, one of them got his satchel, and she kissed it.

"WE GOT THE BAG!" said the girl.

The satchel fell from Legolas' horse. The fangirls started to dig through it, squealing as they went along. Fangirls get creepy when they steal your stuff. While the fangirls were distracted, Legolas made it to his home. He rode inside and quickly told the guards to keep an eye out for strange girls.

In the meantime, the fangirls had noticed that Legolas was gone.

"Where's Legolas?" asked one girl.

"He went home," said another girl. "Shit!"

"Why did he have to leave?" asked a third girl.

"Oh well," said Laura. "At least we got his stuff."

The fangirls took a walk in the woods, looking for the way out so they could hoard Legolas' stuff. But they were stopped by a giant spiderweb that they tripped on. The girls got stuck in the spider silk.

"Laura?" asked one girl.

"What?" said Laura.

"Do giant spiderwebs come from giant spiders?" asked the girl.

"Yes, unfortunately," said Laura.

The fangirls screamed as the giant spiders hurried towards them. The spiders looked hungry, and the fangirls would make a nice meal. The girls tried to escape, but it was too late. The spiders paralyzed the girls with their venomous fangs and wrapped them in silk. Then the spiders gobbled them up until only their bones were left.

**THE END**


End file.
